Shhhhhh. Listen.

I haven’t written much since the pandemic started. Like so many, I was dealing with the trauma. I was processing. I was trying to deal with wtf had just happened to us.

 During this time, I experienced the roller coaster of emotions that so many did. Anger, anxiety, sadness. But also a deep sense of gratitude. A renewed appreciation for the simplicity of a walk with my husband. The realization that everything I need to be happy is within the walls of my home and the privilege to order anything else online that my healing heart desired (except that new car, my CC wouldn’t take that on ;).

 The messages of ‘emerge as new you,' 'learn a new skill' etc., bother me. We all experienced a collective trauma just over one year ago now. Then, and now, there is no right or wrong way to react. There is no rulebook. There is no need for you to be over it, to be healed, or to be ready to write the next best-selling novel. If you come out of this having accomplished nothing, I will be the first person to high-five and hug you. Do what you need to do to get through and to start healing.

 During my time, both at work and during a lockdown, I discovered my healing path. Listening. There is so much anger floating about. Racism. The lockdowns, the politicians, the mask wearers, the anti maskers. The anti-vaxxers and pro-vaxxers. Kids to learn at home, kids to attend school. The new Liberal budget. The list continues. And here’s the thing, it will only continue, and perhaps the list gets longer. I needed to step off this crazy train of anger. I needed to listen.

 The best way to fight ignorance is through education. I'm not talking about formal education here. I am referring to you having the opportunity to educate yourself with your fellow humans. I have the privilege in my job to have the chance to speak with many people one on one, every single day. I wasn't about to squander that privilege. I sought to embrace it, appreciate it, and mostly learn from everyone willing to share their feelings..

 I have learned that you are privileged if you can't imagine why someone can't wear a mask all day or for even an hour. I'm not talking anti-maskers here. I'm speaking of the ones who, due to the existing trauma or previous traumas (dealt with or not) that bubble up at the very thought of wearing a mask.

I have learned that you are privileged to think that everyone has a Credit Card and access to Amazon or curbside pick up.

I have learned that you are privileged if staying at home is a comfortable place to be. Spend 20 minutes in some government housing developments, and you'll know why I say this. Not everyone has a comfortable couch, Netflix, cable, Internet, food in the fridge, and loving family surrounding them. There is filth, clutter, abuse, and sometimes, complete boredom. You are privileged if you haven’t lost your job, your business, and your livelihood. You are privileged if you can't imagine why someone would need to shop at the Dollar Store.

 I have been listening. What I hear is that single working mothers don’t want schools to close. Small business owners don’t want lockdowns. Those who stay at home to work want more lockdowns. Teachers want school closures. We have each approached this from a personal perspective, and the more you are aware of that, the less angry you will be at those who disagree.

 During the Vietnam war, I love the idea of hippies who preached peace, protested the war, and dodged the draft. Without them, we'd question nothing. But wow, do I respect the men who put their lives on the line to fight. Without them, we wouldn't know the meaning of the title hero. We needed both then, and we need the differing viewpoints now.

 We have rule-followers in this world. We need them. Rules keep society running the way it needs to, rules keep the majority of us safe. We have rule breakers in this world. We need them. The governments need to be questioned and brought to task. If all we had were rule followers, the government could run us over. If all we had were rule-breakers, we'd have chaos. We need single mothers to speak up about keeping kids in school. We need the teachers to speak up about sending them home. We need the small business owners to tell us how and why they can remain open safely. We need those working from home to tell us why we need more lockdowns. We need anti-maskers to send us the medical reports on how they don't work, and we need the maskers to tell everyone how they do work.

 I have listened to those who aren’t anti-vax but have concerns over THIS vax. I've listened to those who are frustrated they have to wait longer to get this vax and those who are celebrating when they have finally received it. Even though I do lean to one side of these discussions, I have listened. I understand them both.

 I’m not suggesting that we all have to agree.; in fact, I am suggesting the opposite. I don't want everyone to agree. I want peaceful protest. I want rule followers to stay at home. I want Liberals, and I want Conservatives. I want people to ask questions; I want people to challenge authority. I also want people to follow the laws because it is better than total lawlessness.

 I want people to stop. Listen. Think about it. You probably want them all too.  It's what makes the world go around. It's what makes us, US. It's what makes us a collective global society, all just doing the best we can. We have a current trauma, and most of us entered into it from old trauma. If you listen, you will hear it. If you listen, you will understand it. If you listen, you will welcome it all.

 If I have one takeaway from the past year or more, it is this. Turn off the social media, it’s just noise. Lean in and just Listen. And when you are ready, I hope this helps you to heal.

Dana Smith DO(MP)